Well, I spent the day at M’s – first day in a couple of months, and it wasn’t the entire day – more like a couple of hours.  I get home, and Husband is standoffish, quiet, like he usually is when I get home.

After me being home for about three hours, he asks if M and I… “did it”.  I asked him to clarify what “it” was, and he said sex, because I apparently smell like condoms.

WHAT THE HELL kind of thing is that to say?  I’m pretty sure what he’s smelling is my new, unwashed jeans, as they definitely have a “new pant smell” to them, but he swears up and down that it’s condoms.  And I’m left here feeling… dirty.  Like Husband won’t touch me, if I don’t wash the traces of M off me.

I know this isn’t always going to be roses.  This has never been easy, balancing things between M and Husband and I.  M’s broken up with me once over it, because he worries about Husband, how he feels.  This was actually the first time I’d gone to M’s since we broke up and got back together again.  And I’m in a rather vulnerable place.

This did not help things.


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